He loves to cuddle, is fixed, and came with everything I … ._1x9diBHPBP-hL1JiwUwJ5J{font-size:14px;font-weight:500;line-height:18px;color:#ff585b;padding-left:3px;padding-right:24px}._2B0OHMLKb9TXNdd9g5Ere-,._1xKxnscCn2PjBiXhorZef4{height:16px;padding-right:4px;vertical-align:top}._1LLqoNXrOsaIkMtOuTBmO5{height:20px;padding-right:8px;vertical-align:bottom}.QB2Yrr8uihZVRhvwrKuMS{height:18px;padding-right:8px;vertical-align:top}._3w_KK8BUvCMkCPWZVsZQn0{font-size:14px;font-weight:500;line-height:18px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon)}._3w_KK8BUvCMkCPWZVsZQn0 ._1LLqoNXrOsaIkMtOuTBmO5,._3w_KK8BUvCMkCPWZVsZQn0 ._2B0OHMLKb9TXNdd9g5Ere-,._3w_KK8BUvCMkCPWZVsZQn0 ._1xKxnscCn2PjBiXhorZef4,._3w_KK8BUvCMkCPWZVsZQn0 .QB2Yrr8uihZVRhvwrKuMS{fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon)} ._33axOHPa8DzNnTmwzen-wO{display:block;padding:0 16px;width:100%}.isNotInButtons2020 ._33axOHPa8DzNnTmwzen-wO{font-size:14px;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:.5px;line-height:32px;text-transform:uppercase} It's in their job description. Yeah, I'm definitely in that category - started looking at these communities due to issues with trauma, but I don't think that just because it looks like a vocal minority means that everyone one disagrees with should be ignored. Hello everyone, this is my first post on this forum - I'm hoping to get some advice about my cat adoption-regret. Maybe I … I would encourage you if your hearts in it. You can have doubts and may even decide that adoption is not the right choice for you or that the timing is off. [Help] Having Adoption Regret. And it’s true–but sometimes I regret my decision to place my baby for adoption. A mum has admitted she regrets the name she gave to her adopted daughter and wishes she had called her something else, but isn't sure what to do about it December 2004 I adopted a Bichon Frise. It examines not just what kinds of experiences adoptees may or may not have, but also why people share what they share, what the intentions might be in sharing (complaining, defending, educating, trying to prevent future pain for future adoptees, trying to reassure different members of the triad, a whole myriad of reasons for why people may share what they do). I adopted my now 4 year old Tuxedo cat about 3 years ago and she’s need a dream. Find more subreddits like r/Adopted -- This subreddit focuses on actual adoptees rather than parents looking for adoption choices or siblings affected by adoption. Doesn’t cry, uses the litter box, cuddles and sleeps with me, an all around great cat. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. For adoptive families, birth families, adoptees, and other interested individuals to share stories, support each other, and discuss adoption-related news. Less and less every day though. I understand that a number people who would be speak out are those who have something to say, but it’s a bit discouraging to see some of the stories here. Those two things are posted alot here and neither are true. They told me he was 5 years old at that time but the more I've paid attention to him, he definitely seems much older. It seems like your adoptive parents set themselves up for that disappointment. My adoptive parents regret adopting me because I grew up and returned to my culture, community and religion. ._1zyZUfB30L-DDI98CCLJlQ{border:1px solid transparent;display:block;padding:0 16px;width:100%;border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-body);border-radius:4px;box-sizing:border-box}._1zyZUfB30L-DDI98CCLJlQ:hover{background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-primaryButtonTintedEighty)}._1zyZUfB30L-DDI98CCLJlQ._2FebEA49ReODemDlwzYHSR,._1zyZUfB30L-DDI98CCLJlQ:active,._1zyZUfB30L-DDI98CCLJlQ:hover{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyText);fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyText)}._1zyZUfB30L-DDI98CCLJlQ._2FebEA49ReODemDlwzYHSR,._1zyZUfB30L-DDI98CCLJlQ:active{background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-primaryButtonShadedEighty)}._1zyZUfB30L-DDI98CCLJlQ:disabled,._1zyZUfB30L-DDI98CCLJlQ[data-disabled],._1zyZUfB30L-DDI98CCLJlQ[disabled]{background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-primaryButtonTintedFifty);color:rgba(var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyText),.5);fill:rgba(var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyText),.5);cursor:not-allowed}._1zyZUfB30L-DDI98CCLJlQ:active,._1zyZUfB30L-DDI98CCLJlQ:disabled,._1zyZUfB30L-DDI98CCLJlQ:hover,._1zyZUfB30L-DDI98CCLJlQ[data-disabled],._1zyZUfB30L-DDI98CCLJlQ[disabled]{border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-body)}._1O2i-ToERP3a0i4GSL0QwU,._1uBzAtenMgErKev3G7oXru{display:block;fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-body);height:22px;width:22px}._1O2i-ToERP3a0i4GSL0QwU._2ilDLNSvkCHD3Cs9duy9Q_,._1uBzAtenMgErKev3G7oXru._2ilDLNSvkCHD3Cs9duy9Q_{height:14px;width:14px}._2kBlhw4LJXNnk73IJcwWsT,._1kRJoT0CagEmHsFjl2VT4R{height:24px;padding:0;width:24px}._2kBlhw4LJXNnk73IJcwWsT._2ilDLNSvkCHD3Cs9duy9Q_,._1kRJoT0CagEmHsFjl2VT4R._2ilDLNSvkCHD3Cs9duy9Q_{height:14px;width:14px}._3VgTjAJVNNV7jzlnwY-OFY{font-size:14px;line-height:32px;padding:0 16px}._3VgTjAJVNNV7jzlnwY-OFY,._3VgTjAJVNNV7jzlnwY-OFY._2ilDLNSvkCHD3Cs9duy9Q_{font-weight:700;letter-spacing:.5px;text-transform:uppercase}._3VgTjAJVNNV7jzlnwY-OFY._2ilDLNSvkCHD3Cs9duy9Q_{font-size:12px;line-height:24px;padding:4px 9px 2px;width:100%}._2QmHYFeMADTpuXJtd36LQs{font-size:14px;line-height:32px;padding:0 16px}._2QmHYFeMADTpuXJtd36LQs,._2QmHYFeMADTpuXJtd36LQs._2ilDLNSvkCHD3Cs9duy9Q_{font-weight:700;letter-spacing:.5px;text-transform:uppercase}._2QmHYFeMADTpuXJtd36LQs._2ilDLNSvkCHD3Cs9duy9Q_{font-size:12px;line-height:24px;padding:4px 9px 2px;width:100%}._2QmHYFeMADTpuXJtd36LQs:hover ._31L3r0EWsU0weoMZvEJcUA{display:none}._2QmHYFeMADTpuXJtd36LQs ._31L3r0EWsU0weoMZvEJcUA,._2QmHYFeMADTpuXJtd36LQs:hover ._11Zy7Yp4S1ZArNqhUQ0jZW{display:block}._2QmHYFeMADTpuXJtd36LQs ._11Zy7Yp4S1ZArNqhUQ0jZW{display:none}._2CLbCoThTVSANDpeJGlI6a{width:100%}._2CLbCoThTVSANDpeJGlI6a:hover ._31L3r0EWsU0weoMZvEJcUA{display:none}._2CLbCoThTVSANDpeJGlI6a ._31L3r0EWsU0weoMZvEJcUA,._2CLbCoThTVSANDpeJGlI6a:hover ._11Zy7Yp4S1ZArNqhUQ0jZW{display:block}._2CLbCoThTVSANDpeJGlI6a ._11Zy7Yp4S1ZArNqhUQ0jZW{display:none} That is called being stupid and not understanding children. They wanted a kid like them and turned out disappointed that raising an Asian kid as white didn’t turn me white. I’ll link them at the bottom of this comment. Thanks, I'll look for some reading material as you suggested. We were placed with a child whose health was good at birth but who had been abandoned. There are many fights between himself and the now almost-grown kids because of his weird head cannon. We very well may face challenging situations ahead related to adoption as the kids mature but so far it has been a beautiful experience all around. They just had unrealistic expectations about adoption, likely because of the attitudes of the era they grew up in. I get that a lot of folks got adopted by people who had their own vanity in mind when they adopted a child, but at least they were there. All of us have good relationships with our parents. Those who regret becoming parents will often confuse this with regretting adopting/getting pregnant. I'm also adopted, domestic infant adoptee, now 29M. We can never know if the adoptee would have been better off with the birth parent - but it's likely that even if the birth parent has become a good parent to later children that at the time of the adoption that they may not have been good parents. .s5ap8yh1b4ZfwxvHizW3f{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);padding-top:5px}.s5ap8yh1b4ZfwxvHizW3f._19JhaP1slDQqu2XgT3vVS0{color:#ea0027} Thank you for sharing your experiences. Thanks, I suppose you're right. Sometimes an adoption does not work out. You forgot: All adoptive parents are human traffickers! I went to stay at a home for young mums in Grey Lynn when I was eight months pregnant. I did this because I want a family. ._3-SW6hQX6gXK9G4FM74obr{display:inline-block;vertical-align:text-bottom;width:16px;height:16px;font-size:16px;line-height:16px} You're really asking a parenting question, not an adoption question. My wife and I are in the home study process now and are looking to adopt an infant. Family preservation isn't always an option and leaving kids in neglectful or abusive homes is ._3bX7W3J0lU78fp7cayvNxx{max-width:208px;text-align:center} I'm sure everyone wants the perfect child but those high risk children need a home and care as much or more than healthy babies. I haven’t been able to calm down since bringing her home and I fear I’ve made a huge mistake. Swiss express regret over illegal adoptions from Sri Lanka Dec. 14, 2020 Updated: Dec. 14, 2020 7 a.m. Facebook Twitter Email LinkedIn Reddit Pinterest Learn about what those people think/feel/experience before you sign up for it. It means so much when we have the opportunity to hold space with one another and learn from one another. Derek is an amazing, magical, smart, funny, brave, compassionate and loving kid! People always say I’m great with kids and ask me how many I have, which hurts because it reminds me that we can’t have children of our own (due to health reasons). Regardless of the intensity of love, you can still love and be a good parent. So as far as we're concerned, it is a roll of the dice what happens to her but if something terrible happened to her, I couldn't imagine my feelings changing. I wish there was a good way to know how many adoptees are actually happy with their adoptions, and how many had no pain at all. No matter how often I bathe him, he still smells! ._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ{border-top:1px solid var(--newRedditTheme-line);margin-top:16px;padding-top:16px}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN{margin:0;padding:0}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:21px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between;margin:8px 0}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ.QgBK4ECuqpeR2umRjYcP2{opacity:.4}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ label{font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ label svg{fill:currentColor;height:20px;margin-right:4px;width:20px}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between;padding:0;width:100%}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_ svg{display:inline-block;height:12px;width:12px}.isInButtons2020 ._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_{padding:0 12px}.isInButtons2020 ._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:12px;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:unset;line-height:16px;text-transform:unset}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F{--textColor:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColor);--textColorHover:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColorShaded80);font-size:10px;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:.5px;line-height:12px;text-transform:uppercase;color:var(--textColor);fill:var(--textColor);opacity:1}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F._2UlgIO1LIFVpT30ItAtPfb{--textColor:var(--newRedditTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColor);--textColorHover:var(--newRedditTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColorShaded80)}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:active,._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:hover{color:var(--textColorHover);fill:var(--textColorHover)}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:disabled,._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F[data-disabled],._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F[disabled]{opacity:.5;cursor:not-allowed} While I don’t want to minimize trauma people have experienced, it can also be disheartening when questions are asked in this sub and some people use it as an opportunity to retaliate against their own situation. As I mentioned in a previous thread, my beloved orange tabby cat Opie died in March. .FIYolDqalszTnjjNfThfT{max-width:256px;white-space:normal;text-align:center} "Adoptive parents can never love an adopted child like a biological child" is also garbage. So I am mixed Japanese-American and have considered the grueling process of adopting a child From Japan. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. Every day I have to be mindful of the present and to enjoy today because I have no idea when it will end and if I will ever see him again once he is gone. When I was young I didn't want to be a fireman I wanted to be a daddy. there are days where my kids drive me up the wall (bio and adopted) and I wish I was by myself sitting in a hammock on the beach, but that's just parenting, not adoption. I don't regret it, but having depression and anxiety, I sometimes can get a little emotional about it. Our child will probably have been abused, almost definitely neglected and may have had prenatal exposure to drugs and/or alcohol. I'll preface this by saying I only adopted my dog Buddy 3 days ago. Adoption records were not sealed to protect b-families or adoptees from upset or intrusion. As an adoptive parent I’m happy to see this post. And his parents are two of the most God-like, loving people I have ever had the honor of knowing. Flash forward to now -- I sent in an adoption application to a local shelter, and because of covid, they match people with a specific cat and you don't get to meet them beforehand. They just had unrealistic expectations about adoption, likely because of the attitudes of the era they grew up in. For some background, the cat is amazing - he's incredibly loving, very chill, and hasn't done any damage to … I dont regret how my life has turned out even though I regret giving Zak up. I actually think we should be educated that it is fine not to have kids (society seems to dictate to us that in order to live full lives we must be parents - in my opinion that is bullshit). I think we would be great parents, but it would absolutely break my heart if we adopted a child and they resented us for doing so. Our parents regret it; they once told someone they wouldn't do it over again. We therefore have no family historical information for her. I tell people all the time how grateful I am for open adoption, and how much it has changed my life for the better. GENEVA (AFP, REUTERS) - Swiss authorities voiced deep regret on Monday (Dec 14) for failing to prevent adoptions from Sri Lanka for two decades despite indications of … ._2a172ppKObqWfRHr8eWBKV{-ms-flex-negative:0;flex-shrink:0;margin-right:8px}._39-woRduNuowN7G4JTW4I8{border-top:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-lineColor);margin-top:12px;padding-top:12px}._3AOoBdXa2QKVKqIEmG7Vkb{font-size:12px;font-weight:400;line-height:16px;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-body);border-radius:4px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-direction:row;flex-direction:row;margin-top:12px}.vzEDg-tM8ZDpEfJnbaJuU{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);height:14px;width:14px}.r51dfG6q3N-4exmkjHQg_{font-size:10px;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:.5px;line-height:12px;text-transform:uppercase;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between}._2ygXHcy_x6RG74BMk0UKkN{margin-left:8px}._2BnLYNBALzjH6p_ollJ-RF{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;margin-left:auto}._1-25VxiIsZFVU88qFh-T8p{padding:0}._3BmRwhm18nr4GmDhkoSgtb{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyText);-ms-flex:0 0 auto;flex:0 0 auto;line-height:16px} There's a lot of hatred and anti adoption sentiment on this sub. I'm adopted. seeking a copy of your original birth certificate. Kids do drive you insane. This is an extremely tough question to answer. Surprisingly after the adoption and during the vet visit, I was informed he is FIV+ and is presenting AIDS symptoms and signs (eye and nose viral infections, anemia, leukopenia weight loss). If you are not happy and the cute baby has outgrown its cuteness, find out what your options are. However, if you take the leap to adopt, I can all but guarantee it will not end in regret. There seems to be a lot of romanticizing for the birth parents here, when for one reason or another they had very little to do with the hard work of raising the adoptees. Designed to give a voice to the many different perspectives of adoption, this series features posts by adoptees, birth parents, adoptive parents, waiting adoptive parents, and foster parents-turned-adoptive parents. But he also made us feel loved. I know adoption regret is not uncommon but when i've read about it a lot of people were saying that it went away after a bit and that things turned out fine. I know that kids aren't for me and her parents are fantastic, so I know everything worked out for the best in my case. Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. Hi, all. We welcome anyone from any aspect of an adoption to comment and contribute, but a community for adoptees is our goal. I feel horrible that I feel that way." Adoption Regret. I was 17, depressed, and my boyfriend decided to break up with me not long after finding out I was pregnant. I have a 5 year old daughter from my first marriage with whom I have an open adoption. Sources: BabyGaga, The Guardian, Dialy Mail, Adoption Institute It's made things much more pleasant for us. If you wake up every day regretting your adoption then you are not the best parent to parent that child I have 4 birth children who I raised myself. There is still a good chance that she will be coming back to me, if her present adoption disrupts, but I'm sure that she has experienced trauma in the 2 yrs that she has been gone since both adoptive mothers couldn't stand her. "All adoptees have trauma" is garbage. Close. ._12xlue8dQ1odPw1J81FIGQ{display:inline-block;vertical-align:middle} I don't feel strong enough to volunteer to take a child that has serious illnesses or disabilities, but I also know my heart. He never sees them as they are - just as he wishes them to be. I'm only 22 years old and sometimes, I really regret it. In a way you made yourself the third party. Those that are happy probably don't post here. That being said, the second I brought her home I was filled with deep anxiety and regret. Neither of us was special needs, etc. For the record I'm also an adoptee. Just like if tomorrow, my bio daughter got some disease, I would never regret having her. But I also feel like there is a lot more good out there than is being reflected in this sub. I think it's moot, though. Here was another thread along similar lines. I write pro-adoption articles, I attend weekly support meetings for birth parents, and I often speak in public schools about the miracle of adoption. 0. I tend to agree, though that's certainly not the subreddit's concensus. Side note, I worked in a nursery for a bit. I've been so afraid for her reading on this board. This article previously ran on the blog Portrait of an Adoption as part of the series “30 Adoption Portraits in 30 Days” in honor of National Adoption Month. You'll know deep down if you're the right type of personality to be an adoptive parent. Period. ._1PeZajQI0Wm8P3B45yshR{fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon)}._1PeZajQI0Wm8P3B45yshR._3axV0unm-cpsxoKWYwKh2x{fill:#ea0027} Based on what I've learned as a psych student and being involved in communities of adoptees, I think how the parents raise an adopted child is the biggest factor in whether or not that child will be mentally healthy and their relationship with their adopted family, especially TRAs. I just adopted a five year old, really sweet cat a week ago and really regret it. I think some people (even adoptive couples) are not suited to be parents. A parent sent their toddler in wearing a pretty white dress and screamed at us when it got to home time and the dress was no longer a pristine white. Me and my partner are adopting in the UK. I just adopted an adult cat (3-5 y/o) and am a first time cat owner. If I adopted a child from Japan I have a lot of experience with the culture, but being from the US I don’t practice Shinto. I have just always wanted kids. I am in healthcare and I see a lot of pediatric patients. I guess then that this issue isn't one that's exclusive to adoptive families, as my parents treated me and my sister like this too. Hahahah I appreciate your thoughts and encouragement, I will keep all this in mind. All that worry was left outside the door the moment she came home and I knew she depended on us 100%. Obviously it happens, but perhaps no more than it happens with bio children. I have a bio child and a foster child that we hope to adopt, and I love them both the same. (I hadn't realized I committed such a serious crime...twice!). I'm not really sure what i'm trying to get out of posting this here. He may have FAS, he may have a genetic problem, I dont know know what his future holds and I dont care. I think if you’re prepared to address mental health concerns and supportive if your child wants to connect with their birth family, then you’ll be ok. Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. I can't find proof either way on this, and don't know how you'd test for it. The vet said not to wash him but once a month because I told him that I wanted to bathe him at least twice a month. It's understandable why she regrets it, but she should remember that she did the right thing. I’m especially grateful when people with difficult adoptive experiences share their struggles, so we can support one another + hopefully other adoptive-families can learn from those experiences; and equally when people with happier adoptive experience share what worked for them and their family. In the meantime, this was one of the most compassionate, insightful exchanges I’ve seen on this sub in my four-ish years here. I wanted what was best for him because I love him so much and I know that adoption was the right choice. ._1EPynDYoibfs7nDggdH7Gq{margin-bottom:8px;position:relative}._1EPynDYoibfs7nDggdH7Gq._3-0c12FCnHoLz34dQVveax{max-height:63px;overflow:hidden}._1zPvgKHteTOub9dKkvrOl4{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;line-height:21px;font-weight:400;word-wrap:break-word}._1dp4_svQVkkuV143AIEKsf{-ms-flex-align:baseline;align-items:baseline;background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-body);bottom:-2px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-flow:row nowrap;flex-flow:row nowrap;padding-left:2px;position:absolute;right:-8px}._5VBcBVybCfosCzMJlXzC3{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:21px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyText)}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);border:0;padding:0 8px}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI:active,._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI:hover{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaTextShaded80);fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaTextShaded80)}._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI:disabled,._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI[data-disabled],._3YNtuKT-Is6XUBvdluRTyI[disabled]{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaTextAlpha50);cursor:not-allowed;fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaTextAlpha50)}._2ZTVnRPqdyKo1dA7Q7i4EL{transition:all .1s linear 0s}.k51Bu_pyEfHQF6AAhaKfS{transition:none}._2qi_L6gKnhyJ0ZxPmwbDFK{transition:all .1s linear 0s;display:block;background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-field);border-radius:4px;padding:8px;margin-bottom:12px;margin-top:8px;border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-canvas);cursor:pointer}._2qi_L6gKnhyJ0ZxPmwbDFK:focus{outline:none}._2qi_L6gKnhyJ0ZxPmwbDFK:hover{border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._2qi_L6gKnhyJ0ZxPmwbDFK._3GG6tRGPPJiejLqt2AZfh4{transition:none;border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}.IzSmZckfdQu5YP9qCsdWO{cursor:pointer;transition:all .1s linear 0s}.IzSmZckfdQu5YP9qCsdWO ._1EPynDYoibfs7nDggdH7Gq{border:1px solid transparent;border-radius:4px;transition:all .1s linear 0s}.IzSmZckfdQu5YP9qCsdWO:hover ._1EPynDYoibfs7nDggdH7Gq{border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-button);padding:4px}._1YvJWALkJ8iKZxUU53TeNO{font-size:12px;font-weight:700;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex}._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7 ._3jyKpErOrdUDMh0RFq5V6f{-ms-flex:100%;flex:100%}._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7 .dqhlvajEe-qyxij0jNsi0{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7 ._12nHw-MGuz_r1dQx5YPM2v,._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7 .dqhlvajEe-qyxij0jNsi0{font-size:12px;font-weight:700;line-height:16px;cursor:pointer;-ms-flex-item-align:end;align-self:flex-end;-webkit-user-select:none;-ms-user-select:none;user-select:none}._3adDzm8E3q64yWtEcs5XU7 ._12nHw-MGuz_r1dQx5YPM2v{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);margin-right:8px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-errorText)}._3zTJ9t4vNwm1NrIaZ35NS6{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;line-height:21px;font-weight:400;word-wrap:break-word;width:100%;padding:0;border:none;background-color:transparent;resize:none;outline:none;cursor:pointer;color:var(--newRedditTheme-bodyText)}._2JIiUcAdp9rIhjEbIjcuQ-{resize:none;cursor:auto}._2I2LpaEhGCzQ9inJMwliNO{display:inline-block}._2I2LpaEhGCzQ9inJMwliNO,._42Nh7O6pFcqnA6OZd3bOK{margin-left:4px;vertical-align:middle}._42Nh7O6pFcqnA6OZd3bOK{fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);height:16px;width:16px;margin-bottom:2px} My ex-husband has a hard time with them because he wants to force them into the roles he has for them in his head. P.s. Or is the feeling almost universally a sense that this is your child and you would do anything for them no matter what they need? It's just very odd. She does normal cat things like scratch at my carpet and want to play at 3am, all of which I was prepared for in theory, but in practice it’s just heightening my anxiety. For us, being parents (to a child who happens to be adopted) is hard but OH MY GOD is it the most wonderful feeling in the world, seeing her develop, seeing her tiny magical personality blossom into such a unique individual. ._3Im6OD67aKo33nql4FpSp_{border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetBorderColor);border-radius:5px 5px 4px 4px;overflow:visible;word-wrap:break-word;background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-body);padding:12px}.lnK0-OzG7nLFydTWuXGcY{font-size:10px;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:.5px;line-height:12px;text-transform:uppercase;padding-bottom:4px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-navIcon)}